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Der Ölmesser: Appeal Of The Sleeper
By by: Brad Beardow
Mar 29, 2004, 18:07

There’s something about a sleeper.

Most folks know what a sleeper is, but for those who do not, I’ll explain: A sleeper is a car that seems very ordinary and unassuming on the outside, but possesses abilities to truly surprise anyone who may take its pedestrian appearance a little too lightly in confrontational situations. Simply put, a true sleeper doesn’t have to be the baddest car on the highway; it simply needs to have capabilities well beyond anything its appearance may initially suggest.

By their very nature, sleepers are extremely fun vehicles to drive, and this statement should really require no explanation. To own one, however, takes a certain kind of person. Whether we’re willing to admit it or not, most of us want other drivers to know, the minute they lay eyes on it, that we’re driving something special. Manufacturers realize this, and the fact that just about any high-performance vehicle comes from the factory with all kinds of assorted spoilers, scoops, oversized shiny wheels, fog lights, etc. is proof enough. Some of us need to stand out even further from the crowd and for these folks the aftermarket is at the ready to provide body kits, even bigger and shinier wheels, and a million other items as well - all in the name of making it absolutely clear to the rest of the world that our car is not to be messed with. Even if that’s a big, fat, bold-faced lie.

Now I’m not saying I haven’t participated in such activities, because I have, and at times I did so with abandon. But I’m quite a bit older now, and those days are well behind me. I have no desire to broadcast to anyone the cost, sex-appeal, or performance capabilities of any particular car I happen to be driving. In fact, I’ve very much realized I prefer to hide such things altogether. In other words, I really dig sleepers. There’s just something so damn satisfying about turning an average car into something that can run with the big dogs. If you’ve got the money, there’s really nothing very impressive about buying a 911, an M3, or a Corvette and showing the rest of the driving public just how fast you are. Pull away from another vehicle in one of these kinds of cars and there’s really no room to pat yourself or your car on the back – these things are made to go fast and everyone and their grandma knows it. Take the same scenario, but exchange the 911 for a Golf, and the fun factor rises exponentially. Call me a snob if you like, but I take great pride in performing the automotive equivalent of making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. I’ve even built a few VR6 Golf Cabrios with forced induction just to prove this particular point.

Volkswagen owners have long been familiar with the sleeper concept. After all, outside of the VWvortex community, most people don’t give VWs much thought. And for the most part, VW hasn’t done a whole lot to encourage many second glances. Performance versions from the VW lineup have typically had precious little in the way of distinguishing features as compared to their lesser stable mates, so it’s certainly been possible to sneak up on some unsuspecting Mustang, 3-series or other more obvious performer and give them a run for their money. Things are changing, of course, and today’s 20th Anniversary GTI has a full body kit, a big, shiny tail pipe and 18” wheels to give the game away. The R32 is no shrinking violet, either, though its outward appearance doesn’t exactly scream that there’s 240-hp and AWD under the surface. Still, if I owned an R32, what do you think I’d do? You guessed it – I’d swap the body kit for Golf GL bumpers front and rear, hide the exhaust tips, throw on some 17” Monte Carlo wheels, and just for the sake of being complete, I’d throw on a set of Golf GL tail lights. Of course I’d then proceed to turbo or supercharge it to within an inch of its life, construct the most capable suspension setup I could imagine, and proceed to employ my very own shock and awe campaign during the next BMWCCA Sebring track event.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m well aware that today’s driving environment is less than conducive to hard-driving, and the sad truth is that 99% of the time, we’re underutilizing the performance capabilities of even the average rental car. Looking good while going slow certainly does have its appeal, but like I said earlier, I have been there and I have done that – I’m not looking for that kind of attention anymore, and I’m much more captivated by the challenge of having a car that under-promises and over-delivers. Because, you see, at the end of the day, pimping IS easy.

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