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Discussion Starter #1
On Thursday the 14th at 11AM we arrived at my wife’s OB for her 20-week appointment. We had the sonogram where they took measurements of our baby and some of the measurements were more inline with a 18-week pregnancy. He wasn’t moving much but he had a strong heartbeat, the nurse said he was probably just sleeping. When we went into the other room to talk to her OB, my wife’s blood pressure was really high and was presenting as pre-eclampsia. Her urine was also very dark so her OB has us admitted at the labor unit at our hospital.

Within 2 hours they were telling us that my wife had HELLP Syndrome and if they didn’t induce her that she would die. Our baby had no chance of making it because he was already slightly underdeveloped and it was just way to early in the pregnancy.

At 3:05PM on Friday, December 15th our baby boy, Ethan Wiley Burns, was born but didn’t survive the delivery. He was so tiny but he was so perfect. He had my wife’s almond-shaped eyes, my nose and he was going to have a full head of my black hair.
 

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Awww... I am so very sorry for both you and your wife. :( We were lucky to get one little boy, 11.5 years ago, and we struggled to have him. I cannot imagine the sorrow you guys are going through. Please know you aren't alone.
 

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Oh, ****, dude, so sorry to hear. We had our own issues trying to start a family, but I can't imagine anything that. Hang in there. :(
 

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I can't imagine how your feeling right now, I'm really sorry about your loss of your son. I'm glad your wife is ok and you have each other.
 

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I can't imagine how your feeling right now, I'm really sorry about your loss of your son. I'm glad your wife is ok and you have each other.
This^^

My heart goes out to you two... Time has a way of burring off the sharp edges so you guys hang in there.
 

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Heart breaking. I’m so sorry for the loss. I can’t even imagine....all the best.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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Good heavens, Hostile. :eek: :(

I am deeply sorry and hope that you and your wife recover safely.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thanks for all the kind words and support. I've been watching the thread but haven't been up to responding until now.

It's been 9 weeks today that we lost Ethan. It's still pretty gutting. We have our bad moments but the days are getting a little easier. Fridays are still tough though.

Apparently the HELLP syndrome is not only really rare but it's even more rare for someone to have it as early as my wife did. It's a combination of severe pre-eclampsia, abnormal (elevated) liver function and bottomed-out platelet count. They have no clue what causes it so they can't predict it or prevent it and the only cure for it is to deliver the baby. On the brighter side, it's almost unheard of for someone to go through it twice. We also are consulting with a high-risk OB, in addition to my wife's regular OB, so if we do decide to try again my wife will be much more closely monitored with more testing and check-ups.
 

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It's been 9 weeks today that we lost Ethan. It's still pretty gutting.
Even having a healthy child restructures you. Don't burden yourself with expectations of normality or happiness.

When you have another, you will remember the pain of this period, but it will only be a memory, not pain.
 

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Wow... buried away in a rarely visited forum. :(

So sorry for your loss and subsequent pain. I can't even imagine - my wife suffered through two miscarriages, but at only 8 or 9 weeks, and that was horrible enough.


Here's hoping everything works out for you in the long run. :beer:
 

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I am sorry for your loss. We had a friend of ours lose a child at (I think) 33 weeks a few years ago. Same type of terrible scenario you guys went through. Good news is the mother recently gave birth to twins!
Losing a child is very tough. My MIL lost two before she had my wife.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss, brother. I'm glad you and your wife are relatively, at least physically, ok. You will heal in someways. Grieving is a hard, but necessary process. I'm a father, a husband, and an RN. If I can offer you any assistance in any way at any time, please PM me. You are not alone.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
We made our first trip down to my in-laws since before we lost our boy. He should have been here with us...

Today (Mother’s Day) was pretty rough...
 

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Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how this day must have been for your wife and yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
It’s so hard to believe that it’s been a year today since we lost our boy.

****, it’s been really hard lately. Especially with the new house. Something that should have been really exciting was just over-shadowed with the loss of our little boy.
 
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