How I spent my weekend (window regulator failure story & pics)

This was the body of a message I sent out to some friends of mine this morning detailing my wonderful weekend </sarcasm>
Thought you guys would find this pretty amusing.
Most of you know that I'm already on my spare tire because I blew a tire a couple weeks back and it's taking forever for my new ones to come in, though I have an appointment Tuesday morning to have them mounted. Ghetto strike #1. Last week while on my way to BFE for some client work, I discover a nice electrical problem that causes anything electronic in my car to shut off and click right back on; A/C, radio, radar detector, engine computer, fuel pump. The best part is when it happens the computer readout in my dash gave out nice little messages like "ABS Fault" "Engine Fault" and my personal favourite "STOP" in rather large letters taking up the whole screen. Ghetto strike #2. Now, those German engineers were nice enough to squeeze 6 cylinders into a cramped space, however I now believe they consulted with their Japanese counterparts at Honda on how to place an alternator/generator in a totally unreachable spot. Anybody who has ever tried to do anything to a Japanese car under the hood more involved than learning how to spell "VTEC" knows what I mean. I think I burned a total of 6 fingers trying to find the loose wire.
This weekend, I decided to go visit the parents in Alabama seeing as I hadn't seen them since they got back from my aunt's funeral. I'm fortunate enough to go on a weekend when their lifelong friends are moving into a rental house as their new house is being built. I experience the pleasure of waking up at 5:45 on a Saturday to lift the sort of heavy furniture from around the world that military families seem to acquire en masse. Fast forward to Sunday evening. I decide to stay for dinner because, hell....another free meal. I shoot to leave around 7ish, so the whole group comes outside to wish me bon voyage. I roll down my window to say something most likely extremely profound, but at this moment I can't recall the words. I should probably give some background at this point. Back in 1999.5 (I don't remember ever writing the year 1999.5 on any checks....must have missed that year) Volkswagen thought it would be a good idea to use plastic power window regulators instead of metal. I think they skipped that day of Materials Science 1001 when they taught that metal is better than plastic. Should have been in the Cliff's Notes too. Anyway, owners of VW Golfs, Jettas, GTIs and God only knows what else would from time to time experience a phenomenon called "window falling into the door". This was due to the plastic breaking leaving nothing to support the window. (generic description) At some point, instead of issuing a recall, VW decided to extend the warranty on this part to 70,000 with no year limit. My drivers' side window has been acting up for the past week or so; a loud clunking noise, the one-touch express up/one-touch express down function not working, etc indicating that my regulator would soon be on it's way to the GTI in the sky. I made an appointment to take it to Jim Ellis (who, ironically has been voted the worst VW dealer in the country....great) to have them replaced under warranty Wednesday morning.
Flash back to last night around 7. I pull out of the driveway and my parents aren't too far behind me. I hit the button to replace the window to the upright and locked position and it gets about halfway up. I hear a noise that is only slightly reminiscent of knocking your two front teeth out and later figuring out you're chewing on your own tooth remnants (ask me how I know THAT one). Immediately my window goes from being halfway up, to disappearing within the depths of the door frame. Great news while there's a hurricane/tropical storm in the Gulf blowing thunderstorms your way. I head back over to my parents place figuring I could pull the window up and rig it up with a coat hanger or something temporary enough to get me back home. Seems reasonable enough, right? Well, 1 tug on the window with a pair of pliers brings it up maybe an inch or so before the damn window shatters IN MY HANDS. You know that look a deer gives you when its staring right into your headlights? It takes a second to realize that the last remaining barrier between myself and nature while I'm driving is crumbling in my hand. (and a little bloody, but that's beside the point) After extolling some choice naval terminology, it's time to brainstorm. I could just bust ass back to Atlanta with no window, but it will be uncomfortable as hell with a window open at triple-digit speeds, not to mention what the hell am I going to do about parking it? I have no garage like some of you *******s Plastic it is. I figure I should be able to see through it somewhat, and the only thing at hand that fits the bill is a plastic painting dropcloth. I make the executive decision to forgo driving back to Atlanta until 3AM so I can get to Jim Ellis RIGHT when they open. Tape just won't stick to interior plastic and I refuse to use duct tape on my paint. The only feasible solution is to use a piece large enough to wrap around the door and tape it to itself. About an hour later, we had a nicely shrink-wrapped drivers side door. Ghetto strike #3. So this morning I wake up at 3 and hit the road. Ever see those people driving at speed on an Interstate with their convertible top down? No? Probably because it's so damn loud it's like being in the cheapest seat on a 747 if the FAA would permit airlines to seat passengers 3 inches away from the engine. Best part is we pretty much just wrapped up the whole door, handles and all so I had to climb in through the passenger side. I timed the drive almost perfectly though, getting to the Jim Ellis service dept. promptly at 7:20, where they must see this thing all the time. I was handed the keys to my rental Chevy Malibu (don't even get me started) and on my way to work where I succeeding in successfully being tired off my ass and rambling on and on in emails about why you should never roll the windows down in your car. It'll be interesting to see how it all pans out given the fact that I am not paying for anything except maybe the tire. I don't know who is going to have the honour of paying for my rental car, but it isn't going to be me.
I included some pictures below for your enjoyment. This first is my mom and I shrink-wrapping the door. Yes, the shop-vac in the bottom corner currently contains an entire window in compact easy-to-carry form. The second picture shows our handiwork on the door. Can you see how enthusiastically happy I look? Me neither. The last one is just an interior shot showing my lack of access to the door handle, window switches, door lock switch, and mirror settings. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make an appointment with an audiologist and sleep for a week.




I just thought I'd share my experience with you. If you don't like it, shut the hell up