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A very close 35-year-old female work colleague is diagnosed with hemifacial microsomia (a condition in which the lower half of one side of the face is underdeveloped and does not grow normally. It is sometimes also referred to as first and second brachial arch syndrome, oral-mandibular-auricular syndrome, lateral facial dysplasia, or otomandibular dysostosis) has this congenital disease. In other words, she was born with a the lower right portion of her face somewhat disfigured. Since that time, she has undergone NUMEROUS operations to make the face symmetrical, but is remains slightly off. While I don't have any pics, she is absolutely gorgeous.

As a result of this condition, she has become mistrustful, lacks confidence, and has an extremely poor sense of self-esteem, despite having had several boyfriends in the past (no fiancee/marriage/kids).

She trusts me, and I suspect (though never confirmed) a crush. As a neuropsychologist, I always try to advise her against this extreme level of self criticalness she has towards herself. She always assumes the first thing people recognize about her is this minor facial thing, which in my opinion, is unlikely.

I reached my limits with what I can say to help. Plastic surgery always remains an option, but it will only be a temporary fix till she feel she needs another one to look "normal."

We all have our issues (mine being psoriasis), but typically not facial. Please, can any of you offer some wisdom, advise, anything to help me reach this 36-year-old girl that she indeed is more beautiful than she believes. Dating her is out of question, cause I have family/kids, but nontheless sent her flowers, cause all the other girls would be getting them, and didn't want her to feel out of place.

Thank you in advance!

Several examples of hemifacial microsomnia (also affecting bottom right, post surgery, and not my work colleague):





 

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I'm not an expert in self esteem but I feel she needs to build confidence where she can. If thats not through surgery/conversation then I'd say find other means. What about crossfit, or teambased activity. An Travel/Adventure? Something that challenges her but gives her the "i can do it" feeling. Sometimes you just need to get out of your bubble. Its like a bad relationship, you don't realize how bad it really is until its over. Then you wonder why you wasted all that time.

I took a trip rafting down the Grand Canyon as a I'm type 1 diabetic. 80+mile from anything, life flight is the only way out. I had been told of my limitations continuously by doctors, friends, family. It helped build some confidence for me, I can do this, it is possible. I don't need to limit myself as I previously thought.


Anyway, I'm glad your trying to help. I'd try and get her out of her bubble and see where things take you.
 

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Holy poop. I stumbled into this forum on my annual perusal of the boards, and my older one might have a bit of this. The brachial thing is the kicker. Thank you for posting!

Suggest she colors her hair some wild color and let people focus on that instead. :thumbup: People are usually so distracted by my hair that they miss a ton of stuff about me that is not so gorgeous.
 
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