VW Vortex - Volkswagen Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
1990 Cabriolet, 2004 VW Golf TDI
Joined
·
1,237 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Came across these in the postscript of Stanley Nowak's "Automobile Restoration Guide-3rd Edition. Some of 'em had me laughing out loud, so I figured I would share with the group. Enjoy.
Rule 1. If anything can go wrong, it will.
Rule 2. Interchangeable parts won’t.
Rule 3. Any wire or tube cut to length will be too short.
Rule 4. Availability of a part is inversely proportional to your need for it.
Rule 5. Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.
Rule 6. After a part has been assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.
Rule 7. A dropped tool will land where it can do most damage, or where it will be most inaccessible. Sometimes it will do both. (This is known as selective gravitation.)
Rule 8. Components that must not and cannot be assembled incorrectly, will be.
Rule 9. Any error that can creep in, will. It will be in the direction that will do most damage.
Rule 10. All constants are variable.
Rule 11. The most logical way to assemble a part will be the wrong way.
Rule 12. Dimensions will always be expressed in the least usable terms.
Rule 13. If a part can be installed incorrectly that is what you will do.
Rule 14. An adjustable spanner used to remove a component will either be too tight or too slack to replace the same part, even if you try to replace it immediately.
Rule 15. Hermetic seals will leak.
Rule 16. After the last 16 screws are removed from a component you will find that you are dismantling the wrong part.
Rule 17. To estimate the time a project will take, carefully work out how long you expect the job to take, then treble it. To estimate the cost, carefully work out all known expenditure, then quadruple it. You will still be wrong, but not as wrong as you would have been if you had you believed your first estimates. http://****************.com/smile/emthup.gif
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,566 Posts
Re: Rules to live by (like it or not). (matty kirk)

And when you wash your car, the hose will always land lever side down and shoot you in the face when you set it down.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,751 Posts
Re: Rules to live by (backinthegame)

thats why i have a nozzle!! like a fire hose. it makes using the hose even more fun
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
90 Posts
Re: Rules to live by (like it or not). (matty kirk)

The chance of the bread falling jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Sandy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,553 Posts
Re: Rules to live by (like it or not). (matty kirk)

these are all epic!

especially the jelly / carpet one !!! http://****************.com/smile/emthup.gif http://****************.com/smile/emthup.gif
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top