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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
M3Power...as in the Gilette Mach3 razor, of course:

I just love how men's razors are named after cars, and how they use car analogies to sell themselves. My current razor is a Gilette Mach3 Turbo--how exactly does one turbocharge a razor?
And, hey, don't forget Schick's Quattro razor. Mmm...love that AWD feel on my face!
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (bgluckman)

"But four blades? Give me a break right? WRONG!"

Ah Colby, how far will Survivor take you.....
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (Fettes Brot)

Hmmmm. I have a Quattro razor. Parts and maintenance (refills) are about as expensive as an Audi, so it's aptly named....

Tom
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (mutcth)

quattro razor feels like shaving your face with sandpaper and a rusty sawblade...
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (VwG60Kid)

Quote, originally posted by The Onion »

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fücking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the [email protected] went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cöcks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fück it. We're going to five blades.

James M. Kilts CEO and President, The Gillette Company
Sure, we could go to four blades next, like the competition. That seems like the logical thing to do. After all, three worked out pretty well, and four is the next number after three. So let's play it safe. Let's make a thicker aloe strip and call it the Mach3SuperTurbo. Why innovate when we can follow? Oh, I know why: Because we're a business, that's why!
You think it's crazy? It is crazy. But I don't give a $hit. From now on, we're the ones who have the edge in the multi-blade game. Are they the best a man can get? Fück, no. Gillette is the best a man can get.
What part of this don't you understand? If two blades is good, and three blades is better, obviously five blades would make us the best fücking razor that ever existed. Comprende? We didn't claw our way to the top of the razor game by clinging to the two-blade industry standard. We got here by taking chances. Well, five blades is the biggest chance of all.
Here's the report from Engineering. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my ass with it. They don't tell me what to invent—I tell them. And I'm telling them to stick two more blades in there. I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!
You're taking the "safety" part of "safety razor" too literally, grandma. Cut the strings and soar. Let's hit it. Let's roll. This is our chance to make razor history. Let's dream big. All you have to do is say that five blades can happen, and it will happen. If you aren't on board, then fück you. And if you're on the board, then fück you and your father. Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade razor becomes the shaving tool for the U.S. of "this is how we shave now" A.
People said we couldn't go to three. It'll cost a fortune to manufacture, they said. Well, we did it. Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "Five's crazy?" Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Norelco, working on fücking electrics. Rotary blades, my white ass!
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we should just ride in Bic's wake and make pens. Ha! Not on your fücking life! The day I shadow a penny-ante outfit like Bic is the day I leave the razor game for good, and that won't happen until the day I die!
The market? Listen, we make the market. All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle. It's as easy as, "Hey, shaving with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet." Or "You'll be so smooth, I could snort lines off of your chin." Try "Your neck is going to be so friggin' soft, someone's gonna walk up and tie a goddamn Cub Scout kerchief under it."
I know what you're thinking now: What'll people say? Mew mew mew. Oh, no, what will people say?! Grow the fück up. When you're on top, people talk. That's the price you pay for being on top. Which Gillette is, always has been, and forever shall be, Amen, five blades, sweet Jesus in heaven.
Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that fücker, too. That's right. Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard me—the second strip lathers. It's a whole new way to think about shaving. Don't question it. Don't say a word. Just key the music, and call the chorus girls, because we're on the edge—the razor's edge—and I feel like dancing.




Modified by JettaGL_1.8T at 9:30 AM 5-18-2004
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (rx7racr)

Anything more than two blades makes me feel like I am peeling the top layer of skin off my face. :: shudder :: I got a mach 3 for Christmas a few years back and tossed it after the first use.
 
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (vw86gti)

What I want to see is a r!ced-out razor. Surely, someone's got the time on their hands today to satisfy my whims!
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (bgluckman)

Quote, originally posted by bgluckman »
What I want to see is a r!ced-out razor. Surely, someone's got the time on their hands today to satisfy my whims!

Doesn't the "M3 POWER" come pretty close? I mean, come on, it's bright green and has tons of unneccessary body modifications, with no extra power over it's competition.


-Andrew
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (AndrewTosh)

Anyone else keep on thinking of that SNL skit every time we see these 3, 4, etc. blade razors?
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (bgluckman)

a long time ago, I think it was even before I started shaving, Schick had a razor called the Shick Shift that actually had a shifter knob on the bottom of the handle. Anybody remember that one?
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (matt007)

Quote, originally posted by matt007 »
Anyone else keep on thinking of that SNL skit every time we see these 3, 4, etc. blade razors?


Haha, I was just thinking about that too.
"Blade one cuts close. Blade two, even closer. Blade three cuts nothing - simply providing aerodynamic stability..."
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (fueledbymetal)

I've got 2 M3 turbo's, one is blue and one is silver...yeah who is the pimp now

I tried the quattro and it didn't really do it for me, once again the almight M3 rules!
Mike
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (VWMike81)

I was waiting for this to pop up here since it has the "M3" name.
I knew about this Razor since January because I worked on the grips (the grey rubber ribs).
Gillette came to my design firm for us to help them out. I guess they already had the molds cut but needed the grips to be modified. A quick little job, but its cool to see a product that you worked on being sold in a store.
I still don't understand how a vibrating razor will shave much better
I'll have to try one out

-Ash
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (DownShift)

I received one as a demonstrator, but the actual product was delayed 2 more weeks (should be in this week). I turned it on, it buzzed, I went back to my Mach 3. But you get $4 in Extra Bucks if you buy one
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (JettaGL_1.8T)

Quote, originally posted by JettaGL_1.8T »


Haha, I was just thinking about that too.
"Blade one cuts close. Blade two, even closer. Blade three cuts nothing - simply providing aerodynamic stability..."

"the fourth blade gently cuts back the first layer of skin"
the mach 20 rules.
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (matt007)

Quote, originally posted by matt007 »
Anyone else keep on thinking of that SNL skit every time we see these 3, 4, etc. blade razors?

SNL and the Onion are freaking hilarious
 

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Re: Try M3 Power...to win a Ford? (blown54)

MadTV had the razor skit.
 
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