[PiSSAT4motion]

Had an interesting experience this past weekend. I'll preface this by saying that my current visitation order has been in place for six years now and while it's mostly gone off without a hitch this isn't the first time the order has been intentionally, in my mind, misinterpreted.

My sons live a couple hours away, so I have the usual summer visitation. Two weeks on, two weeks off, two weeks on, two weeks off, then one week on with my ex getting the final two weeks, one of which is basically leading into the school year. I stick to the order since its the easiest way to plan what I do when they're with me. That's not to say I'm not flexible because she has no problem asking to swap weekends or holidays and such... and I'd say 80% of the time I go with the flow.

The order is pretty specific... maybe a little too specific in setting the days/dates for when an "on" week starts:
Two weeks starting the Sunday after school lets out.. (around June 9/10)
Two weeks starting the second Sunday in July...
Two weeks starting the second Sunday in August...

..and for the past 4 years (first year was abbreviated and of course the cluster cuss this year) it's gone off without a hitch.

Enter leap year... with it's extra day and that second Sunday of August gives the ex an additional week...

So I get a call on Sunday the 7th, expecting to set a time for pickup. Instead she's informing me that this isn't my week.
Me:"Not my week? So are you saying you're supposed to have them for 3 weeks in a row?".
Her:"Yes, I am. It says so in the court order".
Me:"But, you've never had them 3 weeks in a row. It's always been 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off"
Her:"No, I have always had them 3 weeks in a row. I check the court order every year.. and base our vacations off of it.."
Me:"I know for a fact that you've never had them 3 weeks in a row... never"
Her:"Well, the past doesn't matter anyway. What matters is whats in the order"
My response before going back and checking the calendar but after she called me petty for questioning her: "You better be 100% and for your sake I hope it's not something that got screwed up because of leap year or something else silly"

..and here I am. No kids in a week I should have them because of the abominable Leap Year. Curse you Leap Year.

Mind you she pulled something similar when my youngest son started kindergarden.
Regular visitation resumes the weekend after school starts. School starts with grades 1-5 with the kindergardeners starting the following week. She decided that my weekends started the weekend after Kindergardeners started.
Filed a motion for contempt.. I remember giving her the paper work and her laughing about it...
Get to court and her lawyer wants to talk before court starts.
"Nannette made a mistake and misunderstood the order"
"Well, if she'll let the boys go with me to a car show that falls on her weekend next year we can have this motion dismissed"
...and thats the story of how my sons went with me to SoWo 4 or 5, when SoWo was in it's early years and not viewed as a plague, that descended upon Helen, by the locals. LOL.

I used to wonder how a man could have children and not have any type of relationship with them. Dealing with my ex has given me a new perspective on why those men would throw up their hands up and just walk away..

 

[damion16v]

:banghead:

That's one thing I was happy for in retrospect: even though my mom had full custody of me, she was always super flexible with my dad on sharing time.

I also watched a friend go through a divorce in Charlotte and she said it was a grind of a process to work out shared parenting. My wife and I moving down to Raleigh (and eventually Wilmington) before our kid hits school age and we've jokingly made a pact to keep together so that we don't have to endure an NC divorce.

 

[PiSSAT4motion]

I'm debating a motion for contempt but may need to consult a lawyer based on what written vs the intent of what's written.
What really pisses me off is my oldest son missed his last week a track practice and the end of summer meet. He gets bouts of anxiety in new situations or situations involving groups of people but I was able to get him to participate in the local track club this summer..

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[damion16v]

I don't know you or your ex from Adam, and I can understand your being pissed. But if I can pitch in my 2 cents, you might think about how you and your ex and avoid this sort of thing in the future rather than fighting over what's already done. If she's pulling stuff like this on a regular basis, then sure it's time to put her in front of a judge/magistrate. I only mention it because I've seen these sorts of things happen with friends and the snowball effect went on for years, cost everyone thousands and it wore on the kids.

 

[Tornado2dr]

I don't know you or your ex from Adam, and I can understand your being pissed. But if I can pitch in my 2 cents, you might think about how you and your ex and avoid this sort of thing in the future rather than fighting over what's already done. If she's pulling stuff like this on a regular basis, then sure it's time to put her in front of a judge/magistrate. I only mention it because I've seen these sorts of things happen with friends and the snowball effect went on for years, cost everyone thousands and it wore on the kids.

My cents are the same.

I certainly don't envy anyone in this position or know firsthand what it is like--- but restraint, compromise, and a focus on the one thing you should have in common (love for your children and dreams for their future) should be the move-forward path. Kids know when their parents hate each other.

 

[PiSSAT4motion]

Gets me heated because she had to be the most shortsighted person I know.

.. So, finally I get the boys for the week starting today, a week after I usually do.
She calls and says there's an issue.
What's the issue?
Well, the oldest, who's starting high school, has orientation on Wednesday... middle of the week.
That's the whole point of her having them the final two weeks of summer but nooooo...
How avoid this sort of thing when one person can't help but F with what should be common sense?

As for court, I've been in, representing myself, 3-4 times. It's generally very cut and dry how things will go and I've generally gotten exactly what I've asked for and paid not one red cent in legal fees. She on the other hand had has a lawyer each time and the only time she "won" was when I waited too late to take her before the judge.



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